


Your Morning Cup of Crazy

by hellkitty



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 13:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11875170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellkitty/pseuds/hellkitty
Summary: So, Whirl is basically a guy I knew in the Army.





	Your Morning Cup of Crazy

“You sure this is gonna work?” Because, hey, Roadbuster wasn’t one to complain about stuff being heavy, but this box of stuff? Was heavy. 

Which was probably why Whirl was making him carry it, instead of lugging it himself.  That sounded like Whirl.  Also sounding like Whirl? That snicker he just gave in response.  “’Course it will.  Besides. Stuff’s been so boring around here lately, it’d be worth it even if it didn’t work.” 

That was a classic example of Whirl logic, Roadbuster thought. Right like ‘explosions are always cool’ and ‘words are dumb’. (Though Roadbuster kind of agreed with the latter one. Probably why he was helping out. )

Well, that, and he was kinda bored, too. 

Only kinda bored, because breaking into Springer’s quarters kind of got the fuel lines pumping.  Especially because Springer was in the next room, asleep on his recharge slab.  M-maybe they should keep their voices down? 

Roadbuster definitely was careful when he set the box down on the edge of the table, but even so, he could hear the rattling of the bottles and stuff Whirl had packed in there.  Which got rattlier as Whirl elbowed him aside (and that copter had some pointy elbows!) and started unpacking it all—beakers and tubing and heatlamps and a couple of bottles of some weird-colored stuff. It seemed like half a klik before there was colored stuff bubbling along a network of pipes and tubes and hoses.  It looked, sounded, and smelled, honestly, a little sinister. 

“The scrap--?”  The door to the recharge room whirred open, and Springer, his optics still warm-up dim, staggered into the front room.  “Whirl, what the frag are you up to?”

“Up to?” The set up looked suspicious enough, but even more suspicious than all the weird smells, the bubbling, and, oh right, having busted into Springer’s rooms, was the almost perky innocence in Whirl’s voice.  How the frag Whirl could even make his voice do that…?! “Just gettin’ my favorite six actual some special mornin’ energon.”  The copter made a big show of picking up a glass beaker, and pouring, from a height, the liquid into a glass, handing it to Springer with a flourish of a claw.

“Special. Riiiiiiight.” Springer took it, reluctantly, his onlining-optics squinting at the glass. “What’d you do to it?” He held it up, giving it a suspicious sniff.  “You crank off in this, Whirl?”

Whirl gave a seriously-over-the-top gasp.  “SIR!” His claw covered his chassis. “I am shocked—SHOCKED—to hear you talk like that.” 

“Are you now,” Springer said blandly, swirling the energon in the light.  "Did he?" 

"Roadbuster?  The virgin?" 

"Hey!" Roadbuster protested. He wasn't--technically--a virgin.  Besides...he didn't remember why else he should be upset.  

“Besides, I thought you knew me better than that. I’m WAY more original than that.” 

Springer lowered the glass for a klik, optics darting between Whirl and Roadbuster. “That much is true, at least.” He paused, shifting tactics. “All right, Roadbuster. What’d he do?”

“I dunno. I just carried the stuff.”  Truth.  Whirl promised he would let him in on the prank as soon as it was over. Something Whirl called ‘plausible deniability’ or something. Well, he was denying. And he hoped it was plausible. 

“You need to stop letting Whirl talk you into stuff,” Springer said, sighing.  “Is this gonna kill me, Whirl?”

“Not…likely.” Whirl scratched the bottom of his bell contemplatively. “Thing is, if you die, Ultra Magnus’s in charge, right?” He shuddered, showily.  Roadbuster did, too.  Ultra Magnus had a real thing about written reports. 

“Best insurance policy a Wrecker can get,” Springer said.  “Still,  if you don’t mind, I’m gonna get a sample of this down to Perceptor for some analysis.”  
  
“Of course I mind,” Whirl said. “It’s gonna get cold!”

“See,” Springer paused at the door to the corridor. “This is why you want optics, Whirl. So you can roll them like this.” 

That…was a pretty impressive optic roll, Roadbuster had to admit. 

“I can out optic roll you, ANY day, Springer!” Whirl darted into the hallway, yelling at Springer’s back. “Check this out! I’m gonna roll my optics so hard my whole body’s gonna flip over.”

He could do it, too—Roadbuster had seen it.  And he also saw Springer shake his helm as he kept heading toward Perceptor’s lab. 

Whirl stepped back into the room, his optic narrowed, chortling. “This is the best prank I’ve done in like…forever! Springer’s gonna flip!” He fell back against the wall, slapping his knee joints, wheezing with laughter.  "He's not even gonna trust Perceptor!" Whirl straightened up, suddenly. "He might even think Nerdgun's in on it, too!" 

Nerdgun?  Whirl...really needed help with nicknames. Like, for real. “You gonna tell me what we did? What’s in the energon?”

“That?” Whirl force the word out between wheezy laughs. “That’s the best part!”  He punched himself in the bell a few times, and then straightened up.  “We didn’t do scrap to that energon.”

"We didn't?" Roadbuster blinked. “Then what’s all this?” Roadbuster gestured at all the…stuff on the table. 

“Showmechship!” Whirl said. 

If...Whirl said so, Roadbuster guessed. "Hey. But."  Thoughts didn't always come quick to Roadbuster, but here came one. "He's just gonna get fresh energon from the mess." Seemed kind of a waste of a prank, honestly.  Then again, it was his first prank with Whirl, so what did he know?  

"Course he is," Whirl said. "That's why I refilled it all with ultra high grade engex last night." 

"You know that stuff gives him backfires. Like.  Bad."  

"Yes," Whirl said, rubbing his claws together in a way Roadbuster could only call 'fiendishly'. "Yes, I do know that."  


End file.
